It’s quite something
The day you make a clear decision that will impact the way you live forever. It’s not easy to put into words, well not words that successfully translate the feeling. It’s exciting thinking of all the possibilities and scary not knowing how you will deal with whatever lies in store, but it also came with a hint of sorrow. I can only think that came from the fear that I may never succeed in achieving what it was I wanted more than anything else in the world.
This came after an incredible summer in 2006. I spent most of it doing some odd-jobs for a friend, mostly manual labour and gardening, through some of the hottest days that the UK has ever experienced. I was pretty penniless, but considering a trip to Thailand to see the lady I had kept in touch with since my trip there in 2004. I was in turmoil about whether to just go and enjoy myself or to be sensible and just get a job as soon as possible to keep myself going.
After some thought (not much as it turns out) I realized that just keeping myself going was what I had been woefully dissatisfied in doing for the past, I don’t know how many years, so I decided to listen to the part of me that was saying I needed this trip for my own survival and sanity. I decided to go and visit her to see once and for all if there was a future or if I could leave this so-called dream of Thailand as a memory and get on with my life.
There was a future and indeed it is now my present.
When I returned from my 6-week trip to Thailand I was certain of one thing. I wanted to go back and start a life with the woman I loved, but facing a big obstacle: Money. I had debts and I knew of no way I could make a living once I was in Thailand. Still I had a very strong desire to go and create my dream life, so I did what I had to do: I got a job and from then on planned my escape from The Office.
